


Lightless

by yinuj



Category: Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XIII Series, Final Fantasy XIII-2, Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Abusive Relationships, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Stockholm Syndrome, Unhealthy Relationships, dark!Light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26558308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yinuj/pseuds/yinuj
Summary: In a world of betrayal and lack of control, he was the one constant she could hold onto. A dark take on Lightning and her relationship with the young Hope throughout the Final Fantasy XIII series. Large one-shot split into five sections. Canon-divergent. This story describes dark, toxic, and unhealthy topics.
Relationships: Hope Estheim/Lightning
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Lightless

**Blinded by Fear**

**_Vile Peaks_ **

“Lightning!” The fourteen-year-old boy’s fatigued voice was hoarse.

_He’ll never keep up with me. A waste of time and energy. It’s unbelievable that he tried to follow me in the first place._

The pink-haired soldier hopped from ledge to ledge as she scaled the wall in front of her. The young boy was left behind. If she were to look back, she would’ve seen the look of sorrow that encompassed his innocent face. She was too far to hear him mutter “she left me” and see him throw his silver-haired head down in frustration. His silent cries failed to resonate.

Moments before she ditched the boy, Lightning had explained her military history and the general structure of Cocoon’s military. He was ignorant, but he gained a genuine admiration from hearing her story— one dangerous admiration. He was a liability; the boy was practically born yesterday. He didn’t deserve this, but she wasn’t going to die or get injured because of his inability.

She was cold, hard, and a soldier. The only person she cared for in the entire world was her sister Serah, and Serah had left her. Serah left Lightning for her fiance Snow, whom Lightning hated. Better yet, Serah became a l’Cie on top of all of this. She gave up everything for Serah, only for everything to go wrong. And when Lightning decided to save Serah anyways, she herself became a l’Cie along with a random group of strangers. Useless strangers. She was over it. She had no one left. Why did she, of all people on Cocoon, deserve all of this?

No God or fal’Cie would ever answer her questions or prayers. They were the source of torment in the first place. Lightning resolved to kill them all herself as she walked further through the ruined terrain. The world was better off without them. The sound of her stern footsteps were left unheard by anyone but the dark sky above her. No God or fal’Cie would stop her.

Hope was broken. His mother was dead— _Snow’s fault_. And now he was here alone in the junk-filled wasteland, branded a l’Cie. _None of this would have happened if Dad had come._ The boy already harbored a hate for his father, but it only grew exponentially after the most recent events. But what could he do? Lost and alone and full of hate, with no guide to follow. His only guiding light had left him moments before. He wanted, no, needed somewhere to belong.

He sat alone on a rock until Sazh and Vanille approached. He didn’t bother listening to their empty words of sympathy, he was too locked up within his own mind. He lashed out at them, screaming the words “It was Snow’s fault.” Sazh himself tried to empathize how a father really would love to see him come home, but Hope’s thoughts were too dark to see any light in his words.

The trio traveled forward, fighting Incubi and Succubi as they went higher and higher into the peaks. Hope’s battle ability was poor, but Sazh and Vanille compensated. Hope felt useless. He yearned to get stronger, to fight back— maybe he could get strong enough to get revenge. A dark resolve was born within him as he trudged weakly with the party. Darker than the star-filled night sky above him. 

In her time alone, Lightning stumbled across a strange Pulsian device. People would later call it an “Oracle Drive” but she knew nothing of its purpose or origin at the time. The ancient device activated, showing her images she had never seen before, hearing voices saying what needed to be done. She saw a throne in a land unseen. She knew her ultimate goal, enlightened and empowered. Just like Pandora’s box, more than what was expected was released.

At some point in the party’s directionless journey, Lightning jumped in front of them from the side. Hope’s eyes widened, and his dangerous admiration kicked in. _She’s back! And she’s always so strong. I need to be like her._ She only clicked her tongue when Sazh tried to greet her, she told them to hurry up and follow. She wasn’t afraid to leave them behind again.

The now party of four mindlessly fought enemies; the visible fatigue of the members irritated Lightning. They weren’t soldiers; she didn’t care. But then they met face to face with their largest foe yet. A Pulse armament known as a Dreadnought. It was relentless, unstable, and huge. Lightning, Sazh, and Vanille immediately fought the mechanical beast. Hope stood in the back, frozen in fear, useless and afraid. But Lightning’s eyes never left the monster. The three fought with no fear, piercing the metal workings of the enemy. They knocked it down, Sazh and Vanille both sighing in relief. Lightning didn’t waver. Defeating it once was not enough for them. The ground below rumbled and the massive mound of metal rose up. The Dreadnought was ready to fight again. Lightning charged at it once more.

After defeating the mechanical monster, Hope was entranced. _How? How can I become that strong?_ He walked with the party as they began talking. Her words inspired the boy.

“As long as you have a goal, you can fight?” Hope asked her eagerly as he walked closer to her.

“You can stay alive.” Lightning walked forward without looking back.

The party pushed forward, following Lightning’s footsteps. They had their blind trust in her knowledge of the area. Eventually, they sat atop a ruined warship. Sazh tried to start small talk once again, talking about how they lacked a future now. Their l’Cie marks made them enemies of their own world. But Lightning wasn’t convinced. She made it loud and clear that she was going to get her future. She pointed into the sky, directly at Eden. She stated that she would destroy the Sanctum. Sazh and Vanille were taken aback. Without the Sanctum, Cocoon had nothing. But Lightning wasn’t afraid of Gods or fal’Cie anymore. She was ready to destroy them all. It sounded as if she was willing to destroy Cocoon herself. Sazh and Vanille revoked their blind trust in her. She was becoming a potential enemy. But Lightning didn’t care— she brushed them off, saying that she wouldn’t destroy the world, only those who ran it. A half truth of some sort. She walked away from them. She made a remark about Snow being a hero and maybe having to stop her if things truly came down to it. The Oracle Drive gave her a plan no one else knew. Hope was already putting his whole blind trust in the woman, and now he had a stronger desire to follow her. _She understands my hate... Snow._ As she ran off, Hope scurried along behind her. The party was split permanently, and the stars illuminated their separate paths ahead.

Wearily stumbling along, Hope caught up to his pink-haired idol.

“Wait for me!” he yelled behind her.

“I can’t babysit you anymore,” Lightning replied with an irritated tone.

Only moments later, a PSICOM hit squad made their presence known in front of them. They were now engaged in full battle. Hope was weak in his fight, unable to land any hits with his boomerang. Lightning was practically fighting on her own, it looked as if she was just protecting the poor boy. Hope was done being useless— he activated his l’Cie magic and began healing Lightning. It was the least that he could do. And that’s what caught Lightning’s attention.

_The boy can’t fight. The boy can’t keep up. But the boy can heal. If he’s so adamant about staying, I’ll keep him for now._

The fight was over quickly thanks to Lightning’s inhuman fighting ability. With a healer behind her, she could keep fighting like there was no tomorrow. Her stamina would be infinite. She made it clear that traveling with her was not easy, along with other hints that she wanted to leave him. But he stayed. She saw his blind trust in his green eyes and gave him one last chance.

“Call me Light,” she said to the boy. She believed he could be useful.

But she was wrong. The boy was inconsistent and hesitant with his actions. _Keeping him around was a mistake_. Somewhere along their journey, Hope made an insane and dangerous decision.. Lightning shouted at him to stop, but he took control of a deactivated Pulsian Dreadnought and drove it straight through the crowds of PSICOM soldiers blocking their path. Her patience was running thin, even if his poor choices had a good outcome.

_The boy is a liability_.

Their pace kept dwindling. Hope’s feet could not match Lightning’s. He was exhausted. As they reached a bridge, Hope tripped and fell forward, Lightning had enough.

“This isn’t working,” Lightning stated coldly. 

“Huh?” Hope’s face was struck with fear.

“I mean, you’re a liability.” She let her thoughts come out loud.

But as she did so, she fell on her knees. Her l’Cie brand burned her. Something bad was happening. The ground below her turned a light red and an unreadable ensignia formed. She knew that this was bound to happen, but it was only a matter of when it would happen. _Odin._ The name came naturally to her. Hope and Lightning engaged in yet another battle.

Lightning was victorious, but not without injury. Hope failed to heal her promptly on command, and failed to switch roles when asked. _Useless._ They won the battle, but who was to say that the next battles his mistakes wouldn’t lead to her death? She was fed up and tired of having to babysit the kid. To make things worse, his pure innocence reminded her of Serah, who she loved with all her heart, who left her to marry a so-called hero. She didn’t want to face betrayal again.

Hearing his cries of “Don’t leave me!” and “Please, Lightning!” made her want to slap the boy. And without her permission, her body turned around and raised her hand. Her hand moved with unrelenting force. But she stopped right before she made contact. Her eyes made contact instead. His mouth kept moving, continuously apologizing and crying. His green eyes were wet with tears and shouted out one phrase: “Don’t leave me.” There was no fear of her within them, only the fear of being left behind. And he did the unexpected again. He latched his arms around her in a final attempt to keep her from leaving. The woman had almost just slapped him, but he was still apologizing and pleading to stay with her? She looked at his face once more. His innocent green eyes, and the soft skin that her hand almost hit. His eyes and lips didn’t stop begging. It broke Lightning— a dark need and want was released. Serah may have left her, but this poor boy would never leave her. 

_He would never betray me._

Her morals were left behind. She pushed the boy off her, but gestured for him to follow her.

“I’ll toughen you up.” That was all she said. _I’ll test your trust too._ Her dark thoughts wanted to push the limits. Her hardened heart softened, unleashing a dark, suppressed, and primal side of her she never knew.

The Gapra Whitewoods weren’t too far from where they were now. This time as they walked forward, Hope didn’t leave Lightning’s side. His fatigue was nothing in comparison to his fear of being abandoned. No one saw what happened moments before, and no one ever would. It was going to stay their dark secret. Only the Gods above knew, and Lightning was already planning on killing them. There were no stars illuminating their new path ahead of them.

* * *

**Blinded by Pain**

**_Gapra Whitewoods_ **

Hope gathered the courage to ask Lightning to take point. Lightning agreed, another mistake she would later come to realize. Her dark thoughts were back in the shadows. The boy was eager, but enthusiasm was no replacement for strength. The Thexterons were much too strong for Hope. It irritated Lightning to see him struggle in every fight. _I even gave him my knife._ His best role was medic, and it was useless to have him be the one to engage every battle. His offensive blizzard and thunder spells he used were ineffective. The only monsters he was somewhat successful at defeating were the Frag Leeches, which didn’t even attack first. Her silent frustration slowly became audible as she stomped behind him.

Lightning had enough and took the lead herself. Just before that, she saw emotions overwhelm Hope. He was too susceptible to his feelings. The boy lost his mother and was blaming it on Snow. Lightning didn’t doubt that Snow had some fault with it, though that may have been the bias within her speaking. She said nothing to him. The two carried on ahead, the mechanical forest seeming endless. The next two battles were against two behemoths. Lightning herself struggled against behemoths, so Hope’s performance against them deserved recognition. Surviving that kind of battle was very rare for the average citizen. Though, she had to unhappily use two tufts of Phoenix Downs. As they walked forward, Hope’s emotional problem became apparent once again— this time being his sympathy. Lightning saw the fear and sadness that followed his innocent eyes as he looked at the fallen soldiers they passed. He even reached out to one, prompting Lightning to push him away onto the ground, harder than she anticipated. The dark thoughts within her took control, but only for a moment. She lectured him on how to control emotions: to be like herself. _Focus on one goal and one goal only_. Hope understood her mindset, and revealed what he wanted to focus on. He wanted to kill Snow.

That statement shocked Lightning, mainly because of the fact that it was the little boy Hope who said it. He said it was Snow’s fault for his mother’s death earlier, but she didn’t expect him to have such a life-threatening grudge. The dying human side of her pleaded to convince him otherwise. _He’s just a boy._ She reminded him that the ultimate evil was the Sanctum and the Gods behind them. Yet the truthful side of her really didn’t mind if the boy wanted revenge, she hated Snow for her own reasons. _Serah left me for him._ The dark thoughts in her mind were beginning to resurface. She couldn’t judge someone else knowing that she shared the same hate. Hell, she had enough hate to want to kill God. She understood his green eyes holding a new, twisted resolve.

The two finally reached a platform with a controller. Lightning immediately went forward and activated it, making the entire floor rise up. Hope had a bad feeling, and he was more than correct.

They were face to face with the Aster Protoflorian. A massive plant-like monster which whipped its petals around like a deadly fan. Hope was afraid, but Lightning didn’t tremble. Whatever resolve he had to fight alongside her and “defeat” Snow was lost. He was just a boy. Lightning jumped ahead and initiated combat. Hope’s spells that followed her attacks were weak. She many times yelled at him to cast, but he wasn’t quick enough. He messed up the stagger every time. Lightning was getting nowhere with his help. Hope just kept getting hit and wasting his energy. She was pissed as hell.

Hope was about to pass out when Lightning had almost defeated the monster. But she was caught by the spinning petals of the boss, and heavily injured. She screamed at him to cast a cure spell on her. She needed his magic now more than ever. But once again, he was too slow. The petal span once more and she was knocked out. She thanked Etro that she didn’t use the last Phoenix Down on him. The tuft instantly revived her. She got up again and finally defeated the Aster Protoflorian. She moved to Hope’s weak body.

She was going to lecture him— a warning to never have him mess up that badly again. But the dark thoughts inside her took control. Just like before, her hand moved without her permission. This time, she didn’t stop. She made full contact using full force on the boy’s face. It was an audible slap. Her hand didn’t leave his face, hiding the red skin beneath it.

In his weakened state, Hope was afraid. Again, not afraid of Lightning, but afraid of being left behind. _Did I really mess up that badly?_ He had begun to feel confident after receiving her knife and taking point, he didn’t realize that he was still acting like a liability. His green eyes were damp once again and he couldn’t help but cry. He was just a boy after all.

“Don’t leave me! I swear I’ll get stronger. Please! I’ll do anything!” Hope had to pause and sob before continuing. “I’m so sorry Light!” He wrapped his arms around her again, not letting her leave him behind. The scene repeated itself.

His words and actions broke Lightning again. The wall inside her crashed down, letting the dark beast within her come out. His blind dedication, she hungered for it. _A full, real slap and he still follows me. Wonderful._ Her morals were completely forgotten. She caressed his face where she slapped him. She had control over him, the only thing in this god-forsaken world that she had control over.

“Do better and I won’t hurt you. Be stronger, be stronger for me. Even if I hit you, I will never leave you.” Lightning meant those last words. She knew how hard it was to be left behind, her twisted state of mind making Serah’s betrayal even worse than it was. She empathized with him.

Her words were plenty enough for Hope. He relaxed and let her touch his face and hair. She pet him like an animal to calm down. It was like how an owner disciplined their pet— or a master their slave. No one was there to witness what was happening but themselves. Soon enough, Hope fell asleep on Lightning, his face red from tears. The redness of his face faded into a dark bruise. Lightning cast her own cure spell on it to cover it up. Before she could even realize what she had done, she fell asleep in her dark state of mind. For once, Lightning wasn’t alone. The two bodies cuddled up together; easily mistaken as a mother and son, or worse: lovers. Mistaken was an understatement.

To her, she had no definition to describe what was happening. Her years of forced apathy and lack of love left her deprived. Deprived enough to take advantage of the boy.

To him, she was an impossible crush, idol, savior that he would do anything for. 

He didn’t know how wrong and twisted it was. Seven years too young. He was too easily imprinted, too easily taken advantage of. He was perfect for her.

Lightning woke up first. The silver-haired boy was still snoozing on her, cuddling up on her. She would never tell him, but she thought he looked incredibly cute. Both herself and the monster within. Whatever happened last night failed to register in her barely awake state. She simply woke him up and saw his refreshed green eyes. It seemed that he too ignored what happened. In truth, he was just happy to be with her still. Not left behind. First, a dangerous admiration and now a dangerous dependency. There was no physical scar to remind them of the shadows of the night before. As they made their way over to the large metal door, it opened automatically. The sunlight shined as they walked through. They had made it out of the Gapra Whitewoods. The path led to a cliff, a view of the ocean, and Palumpolum straight ahead. This was Hope’s home and where his father resided. Hope’s grudge against his father ran deeper than his hate toward Snow. When Lightning asked him about his father, he instantly tensed up. He refused to meet him, not even to tell him about his mother’s death.

She didn’t say anything else. They looked at the city ahead of them, the sun was sitting on the horizon and reflecting off the blue body of water. The waves undulated, and the seaside was refreshing after days in the forest. If it were not for the blue sky above, one could think of this as sunset. A new day was rising, but something else within them was falling.

* * *

**Blinded by Love**

Three weeks had passed since Lightning’s discovery in the Vile Peaks and Gapra Whitewood. Three weeks of hidden abuse. Hope and Lightning met up with Snow and a woman named Fang in Palumpolum— Hope’s so-called Operation Nora failed to kill Snow. Despite its failure, Hope’s dislike and distrust toward the man never left. Snow was left a horrible sinner, drowning in an endless sea of guilt. The party chose to go to Hope’s home, forcing him to confront his father. This confrontation did not go well, leaving a bigger rift between Hope and his father. His father realized his mistakes, and Hope refused to forgive him easily. He left both his wife and son to be purged because of his dedication to work. The guilt crushed him, and Hope wanted it to. He simply stood near Lightning as his father wept. His innocence was corrupted.

Shortly after, PSICOM attacked them all. However, the Guardian Corps Cavalry arrived at the same time and took the party with them. They were willing to help them fight PSICOM and the Cocoon government. With their help, the party infiltrated a Sanctum flagship, where Sazh and Vanille had been caught and held captive in their time away. The party was complete with six people. Fang and Vanille had a quick and much needed reunion. Throughout all their battles, Hope made less mistakes. When he did make a mistake, Snow noticed a look of fear in his eyes. But it wasn’t a look of fear directed toward the enemy, and the mistake wouldn’t even be major. He saw how his eyes immediately pleaded with Lightning. Snow was confused: _did she really scare the kid that much?_ He didn’t know that Hope’s fear was of disappointing Lightning. For all he knew, the boy was the closest thing the soldier-girl had. They were always together: _she would never hurt him._ And in these weeks with a full party, jumping from ship to ship, she couldn’t. There was no opportunity for her dark need to come out, and her mind knew it was far too dangerous to try. But that didn’t stop her words from being venomous.

The more they moved from ship to ship, to eventually making it to the Fifth Ark, Lightning’s comments became more brutal to Hope. They had just found out their focus was to destroy Cocoon, and that their primarch was really just a fal’Cie in disguise. Lightning’s attitude didn’t waver: it was like she already knew. She just got harder and harder on Hope. Now Snow was really confused. _Did she really have to be so hard on the kid? He is just a kid: our world literally just got turned upside down. I know she just wants him to grow, but it’s a little much._ Hope took it without a question. His unwavering and blind trust in her ignored all malice she threw at him. Just the way she wanted it. The party encountered the leader of the Cavalry, Cid Raines, who was revealed to be a Sanctum l’Cie. He stated he was meant to destroy Cocoon as well, and Lightning only smiled. She already knew. His actions denied his words. He fought the party, lost, and was crystalized. Lightning was unbelievably calm with every event that occurred. As much as Snow wanted to scream and yell, Lightning wanted to stay silent. She knew too much.

The party of six was now on Pulse in the Vallis Media. Lightning was not pleased with how the party meandered around, wandering and searching. There was nothing to search for. They needed to find a way back to Cocoon and destroy Eden. Her goal was crystal clear— but she kept it to herself. Her frustrations were pushed onto Hope. The party only had three tents, two people per, leaving Hope and Lightning to bunk together. It was then and there, in private, that the opportunity presented itself. Hope’s dangerous admiration had evolved into a dangerous crush. To him, this was love. The way she touched him, hit him, pulled his hair, and caressed his smooth skin. She was his world and he would do anything for her. He was completely dependent. And Lightning took advantage of that. Not being an expert in love herself, she basked in his attention and his needing touches and hugs. It was a twisted and dark relationship. Everyone except themselves could not see this as love.

It was worse when she was mad at him. For any small reason. Any excuse she could find, she would exploit it and punish Hope. She needed to push him, to truly make sure he knew that she was his. That he would never ever leave her. Her humanity and morality were thrown away forever. The three weeks they spent together made sure of that. And it was in these tents that she could finally show it. Hope was too young to realize he was being violated, and too blinded by his love to care. 

There was never evidence of what happened between them either. Their l’Cie magic was too strong now, able to heal up any bruise or potential mark. If anyone walked in on them in morning, all they saw were innocent cuddles between the pink head of hair and silver head of hair. Some of them even thought it was adorable.

Hope started to become weak. Cure spells could cover physical health and physical appearance, but he was mentally exhausted. Not to mention that he didn’t get very much sleep every night either. As he collected food one day, he collapsed. This terrified the party, and specifically terrified Lightning. _He can’t be gone._ Her mind had come to accept the dark thoughts as her own. He belonged to her, and nothing could happen to him. She desperately searched alongside the party for him. No one gave a second thought at her merciless search and apparent desperation— they thought it was good for Lightning to care this much. How wrong they were. Snow did blink though, his eyes weren’t so certain of the sight in front of him. He that felt something was up.

Lightning was standing in front of the collapsed Hope as he woke up. His face instantly was full of fear, and he immediately threw himself onto Lightning. His cries were left unheard to the rest of the party, as she shushed him and whispered nothings into his ears. They were all relieved and glad to see the boy okay. This momentary peace would be destroyed as soon as the sun fell.

Hope was afraid. He had left Lightning and worried her, and he knew a large punishment was coming. He wasn’t afraid of that. He was afraid that she truly thought he was useless now, and that she would leave. The poor boy was ruined, exploited, and corrupted. He was imprinted completely to only think in the way Lightning wanted him to think. And she took full advantage of him that night. Her slaps and hits were audible, and left marks all over him. She ravaged him, letting a primal urge take over. And she did the unthinkable, as she groped his skin and clawed his behind. Clothes were lost and torn. Hope didn’t know it; this was rape. But he was relieved. _She isn’t going to leave me._ It was far too late. He was hers now.

Snow’s intuition was correct. He heard cries in the night, and he was certain it was coming from Lightning and Hope’s tent. He walked over, unprepared for what his eyes would see. He was horrified.

“Lightning. What the hell are you doing with that boy?” Snow’s serious tone matched his stiff stance.

“Get out.” Lightning was feral. Her hands were wrapped around the hurt boy.

“No. Not until you release that boy and tell me what you are doing.” Snow’s voice increased in volume. He was ready to alert the others.

“He’s mine” Her voice was raw, and her eyes were possessive.

Snow yelled as loud as he could, awakening the entire camp. His commotion brought everyone over to where he was. They were horrified at what they saw. A heavily injured Hope, hiding behind an indecent looking Lightning. They couldn’t believe it.

“Hope, walk over to me. It’s okay.” Snow’s voice was gentle and quiet.

“No! I can’t!” Hope was panicking.

“Yes you can, just walk away from her. You’ll be okay.” Snow tried to be as soothing as possible.

“No!” The boy would not budge.

Lightning wrapped her arm around the boy, gunblade now readied. But Fang took the chance, and tackled her. Hope was freed.

Freed physically, but that wasn’t stronger than his emotional chains. He immediately began to run back to Lightning, only stopped by the hands of Snow and Vanille.

“Hope, you have to stay here. Okay?” The boy squirmed under them.

“It’ll be alright. Don’t worry. We’ll take care of her.” Kicking and punching only tightened their grip on him.

“No, no, no, no!!” Hope burst into tears, and his l’Cie brand glowed. The heat radiating off him practically burned their hands, and he was free of their grasp. He screamed, and an eidolon was summoned. _Alexander_. The massive robot stood before him, unhostile. Lightning knocked Fang off of her and ran to Hope. Hope ran to her too. She grabbed his entire body and began running for it. The party was taken out of their trance and immediately retaliated, moving to follow Lightning. But Alexander refused. Alexander became a fortress, blocking the path that Lightning had taken. Lightning kept running, ignoring the cries behind her. All that mattered, was that she had her Hope. The sun rose above the horizon as they ran, letting the darkness within them fall deeper and deeper.

* * *

**Blinded by Truth**

The party did not take the loss of Hope well. Snow beat himself up for not taking the initiative earlier, not only did he kill his mother, but he killed the boy’s innocence. As a parent, Sazh cried at the lack of protection he provided for the poor boy. Vanille cried and sobbed at how terrible of a situation Hope had been in all while next to her. Fang kept to herself, but a spark of fury was lit inside her; she couldn’t trust Lightning. On the endless planet of Gran Pulse, searching for them was a lost cause. It pained them to do so, but they hardened their hearts and carried on to complete their focus.  
  


Hope was Lightning’s. His mind was broken and reshaped to her will. He was but a slave to his master, his queen, his lover. He would do anything for her. Their relationship could never be fixed, and neither of them wanted to fix it. Carnal sin, desire, lust, and darkness overtook them. Marks of injury and touch were no longer healed, there was no hiding them anymore. If anything, it only made Hope proud— proud to be the property of Lightning. He was hers.

It only broke Lightning more. Hope couldn’t tell pleasure from pain anymore, leaving Lightning to love him in every which way. She wasn’t alone anymore. Alone was the word that defined her life before she met the boy. She was a slave to the world before, but she was the slave driver now. She was just as messed up as the Gods and fal’Cie she swore to kill. But it didn’t matter. She was going to kill them anyways.  
  


The separate groups were permanently split until their final battle.

**_Orphan's Cradle_ **

The valiant party of four made it into Orphan’s Cradle, the heart of Eden and the core of Cocoon. Their time in Gran Pulse left them empty handed, and late. Too late to protect Cocoon and the fal’Cie powering it. In front of them, they saw Lightning standing over the destroyed fal’Cie. They took down Eden. Hope was in her arms, adorned with a gold collar and chain. The two were not partners, but an abuser and victim. The victim did not care. He only did as he was told. The two destroyed Cocoon. The party failed, their focus was completed, but the party failed. Cocoon was going to fall. Lightning only stared at Fang and Vanille. Her eyes knew the truth, and she was forcing it out of them. The two Pulsians already knew their original focus and duty— to become Ragnarok. What has the power to destroy Cocoon, has the power to save Cocoon. 

The events flashed quickly. Vanille, Fang, becoming a beast. Carrying the moon above Pulse as a crystal. Lightning could only smile. Everything was following her plan. Their actions had created an unworthy amount of chaos in the world.

**_Gran Pulse_ **

The sun was rising, and everyone was safe on Pulse. Civilians and heroes alike were awestruck. Sazh’s son, Dajh, awoke from crystal slumber. Snow’s fiance and Lightning’s sister, Serah, awoke from crystal slumber as well. This reunion was short-lived. Serah wanted to see her sister. She was ignorant to the sins of the world. Too engrossed in his happiness and the return of her princess, Snow failed to witness a physical darkness overtake Lightning. With Hope in her arms, Snow took one last attempt to save the kid. 

He succeeded. Lightning let go of Hope, and Hope’s arm reached out for her. But she only told him not to worry, and that she would be back soon. Snow grabbed his collar and broke it. Lightning was lost. But Hope was found. Hope was crying, sobbing, screaming, yelling.

“Why didn’t she take me with her!”

No one responded. Snow only held the boy to stop him from running away. Serah was frozen, unable to comprehend what she saw. As she returned, her sister left. They could never be together. Lightning knew what she was doing.

Without his physical chains, Hope still knew who he belonged to. He would never be freed. He grieved, grieved, and grieved. His father’s return made no difference. Hope had a black heart. In his unstable and untrusting state, the boy needed time. Fortunately, he had all the time in the world now. No one would have guessed that it was all purposeful. His sadness was genuine, but he was still wearing a mask. He just needed to gain their trust now.

Weeks passed, and Hope slowly integrated back into society. He was ‘relearning’ how to interact with people. _Tch._ He knew otherwise. Snow told Serah everything, and Serah failed to believe his words. Seeing the boy was the one and only thing that broke her. She couldn’t believe her sister had done such a thing. And Hope’s father only felt guilt because once again, he was not there for him. _Tch._ Hope knew otherwise.

Weeks became years. He attended school, and was brighter than most people his age— skipping plenty of grades. The boy was no longer a boy, but a young man. Snow left the new settlement to search for Lightning, a heroic attempt to find and understand the soldier. _But a lost cause._ He knew otherwise.

A new man came into the mix, just as Lightning said he would. Noel, a time traveler from a different timeline. He told them that Lightning sent him, and that she was now the protector of Etro, the Goddess of Death. It was her punishment and atonement for all her sins. _Yeah right, a protector._ Hope laughed inwardly. Their world was being riddled with paradoxes: Serah decided to help the Pulsian man. She promised to be back, she wanted to care for Hope. They were going to work with Lightning and save the world. He knew otherwise.

In the time they spent searching and fixing, Hope was making a name for himself. The scars of his past were missing. But he still wore his mask. He loved no one, even as the famed Director of the Academy. Suitors came for him left and right, even his own assistant. He didn’t respond to any of their advances. He blamed it on his trauma. He knew otherwise.

The antagonist of their new story was a man named Caius. Oracle Drives on Pulse projected the bad futures where he would cause the fall of Cocoon and destroy the world. He was in an eternal battle with Lightning, as she was meant to protect the Goddess. _Tch._ Serah and Noel thought they knew their enemy. Hope knew otherwise.

Someone suggested building a Proto fal’Cie to relaunch Cocoon. With man made intentions and programming, the scientists believed it was a perfect strategy. To create their own God. It was foolproof and truly doable with the technology that the Academy had created. Hope rejected the plan immediately. A paradox was solved without Serah and Noel having to fix it. Hope knew otherwise, but he felt a tinge of happiness at the fact that he helped those two.

Hope was not the fourteen-year-old boy everyone once knew. The Director of the Academy was at the ripe age of twenty-seven. Thirteen years of resolve. He discovered time suspension and how to travel through time without the powers Serah and Noel had. He had a new plan. Instead of building a Proto fal’Cie, Hope discovered the power of Graviton Core. He didn’t plan on lifting Cocoon. He was determined to make his own moon, his own world. _Bhunivelze_. It was a genius plan and backup for the world, if Pulse ever failed them. It worked, and a new moon rose. He knew otherwise, but he was starting to enjoy this world. The lock on his heart weakened.

Hope’s assistant was going to betray him. He felt no emotion toward her in the beginning, but the years passed and he grew closer to her. A friend. He knew her demise from the start, and her malintent. It saddened him. As she got erased from existence as a paradox, Alyssa begged him to remember her. He promised her, but he knew otherwise. She was forgotten.

Eventually, Serah and Noel found themselves in Valhalla. They needed to defeat Caius, save the Goddess, and free Lightning. There were two truths and a lie. Noel’s blade sunk into the heart of Caius, and he was defeated. Lightning was freed from her atonement. She smiled. And Etro died. Lightning took her place on the throne, and all was black.

The world as they knew it was infected and destroyed by chaos. Gran Pulse was no more, only remaining what was called Nova Chrysalia. Serah was dead, having been killed by her visions of the future. A cursed gift that reduced life force, until none was left. A lock on Hope’s heart was broken. Thirteen years was a long time. Long enough to heal, and long enough to forget. 

The people left in the timeless world were Hope, Noel, Snow, Sazh, and the crystalline forms of Fang and Vanille. They would wake up soon. The scientists of the Academy and the rest of mankind were in chaos. Hope would fix this. He didn’t know otherwise this time.

A rose-haired phantom disagreed. Lightning saw how her grasp on him had loosened. Loosened far too much. Every night in his attempt to create a coalition, a plan, a future for the world, she entered his bedroom. Every night he lost his new found resolve. Lust, love, and longing replaced it. The original resolve implanted within him thirteen years ago never left. Lightning made sure of it. And one night, Hope disappeared. A shining, gold collar on his neck, with a chain connecting him to the lady he belonged to. He was pulled to an ark in the sky. He was reverted to the vulnerable boy he used to be. He was home.

Hope Estheim vanished.

* * *

**Blinded by Power**

The God Bhunivelze was awoken from His slumber. The world had become impure, and He needed to cleanse it. But there were no gods left besides Himself. The Goddess Etro, replaced by a mere human and her pet. But the human agreed to His idea to cleanse the world. Her pet was the perfect vessel for Him. It was a perfect plan. She knew otherwise.

Thirteen days— the new party on Nova Chrysalia had thirteen days to stop the end of the world. They were ready to kill Lightning. Snow and Noel had no space in their hearts left for forgiveness. Fang and Vanille were released from their crystal stasis. They agreed to follow their new self-created focus. Sazh knew his duty too. It was time to take down the self-made Goddess.

Lightning and Hope were ordered by Bhunivelze to interfere. Interfere they did. Lightning was sent down into the world, and Hope communicated to her from his ark. The moon was ravaged by chaos, but untouched by man. Throughout the thirteen days, Lightning met the party all one by one. She battled Snow, Noel, and Fang. She was far stronger than them. But she left behind a hint of Bhunivelze’s location in every battle. An accident that they would take advantage of. She knew otherwise.

The party made their way to Lightning. Next to her stood the God of Light, Bhunivelze. They were in the Realm of the Gods. With the party’s presence, Bhunivelze began the apocalypse. The party refused: they initiated battle and fought Bhunivelze. Hope and Lightning only watched the battle. _A poor mistake_ is all that Bhunivelze thought. He fought them off with ease— they would fail their focus. The party didn’t give up, and kept running back in. A valiant but useless attempt in the opinion of Bhunivelze. No human could stand up against a God. Lightning knew otherwise.

The resilience of humans astonished Bhunivelze. They had been fighting for hours, and every time He knocked them down, they would stand back up. They were ready to sacrifice their lives; they were exhausted, broken, and on the verge of death. As strong as they were, they were only human. Bhunivelze laughed. He had His own plans. Lightning knew otherwise.

As the party fought one last time, it seemed like Bhunivelze was defeated. But He wasn’t. His godly form was damaged, but He began to absorb the heart of Hope. He was revitalized, reborn. It filled the party with sorrow, to lose Hope and see a stronger Bhunivelze. They truly failed. It was over. Lightning knew otherwise.

A God can only be killed in a moment of weakness. That was how Etro was killed, with trickery and an already apparent weakness. Bhunivelze was quite different, being the God of Gods, the king of kings. It would take a God to kill a God. Lightning smiled. In Bhunivelze’s newfound strength, He missed His one newfound weakness. The humanity He absorbed. She didn’t look back at the exhausted party, and lunged forward.

She defeated God. Stabbing the deity in the face with a knife, she killed him. Hope’s soul was freed, and the collar on his neck was broken. His astral chains were destroyed. The party was left in disbelief. Lightning only smiled. She was the anti-hero, the enemy. The one who would save them all, but the one who would take herself down with it. She gave Hope one last hug, a real, genuine hug, and pushed him away, back to the party in front of her. This was her only act of love, to return his feelings with real love. The apocalypse took over, and the world was going to reset. This time, without a cleanse. This time, without ruling Gods or fal’Cie. This time, with only humanity.

The unseen realm and seen realm began to split. Lightning’s fault in her plan was the lack of Gods. There was no one to control the chaos, no one to control the souls of the dead. There was no God to keep order. The fault being that this would be her eternal punishment. To stand in the place of the Gods. She would be alone, trapped in Valhalla forever. It was an atonement worthy of her crimes and deeds committed.

Lightning made sure every soul was saved— pushed over into the new world. Even Serah, as her soul was never destroyed. It was going to be a world for them to enjoy, with no God or fal’Cie to control them.

And so she let herself fall alone into the unseen realm as the rift between realms was reborn. But a certain green-tinted soul resisted moving on, and flew down beside her.

“...Hope? You can’t be here.” He clung to her. She tried shoving him off, hitting his arms, slapping his face. She kicked and screamed. But he felt no pain.

“Shh. This time, I’m coming with you,” he said, making her eyes wet with tears. His grown arms were rigid. Her mauling was useless. He was never letting her go. She was now  _ his _ forever.

He wrapped his arms tighter around his Goddess and fell deeper into Valhalla. He was a silver chain, finally claiming her for his own. The darkness, chaos, and sins of the world followed them. 

“I’m so glad I met you. We’ll be together.”

Together— eternally trapped in this lightless realm.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was dark. Not supporting this kind of relationship. A full 180 from the last fic I wrote... but I was inspired. I read an older fanfiction from ff net named "Need Me and Love Me" by Slayzer and I couldn't help but imagine how a twisted relationship between Hope and Lightning could evolve and affect the course of the canon plot. And so evolved my own idea! MASSIVE THANK YOU to [R_Armchair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_Armchair/pseuds/R_Armchair) for beta reading this— would have not been possible without her. I hope you all enjoyed. I'd greatly appreciate your thoughts and feedback on this! :D Til next time!
> 
> Updated 10/13/2020


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